I DON'T LIKE CHANGE!!!

Well, as some of you may have read, I'm making some changes. I've started a new blog just for a personal life journal and random things. This blog is going to go back to being about mostly hockey and stupid stuff like that. It's clearly too violent for Google to handle so, we'll keep this as my hockey fight/goalie story/violence loving blog.

Here's a link to my newish blog. Some of you may recognize it as my old goalie story blog. If you do, great, I encourage you to browse around and have a looksie daisy. With all that said, I figure I should get to the heart of the matter and start posting some hockey related carnage on here.

Oh, and I think I'll start taking pix of automobile crashes and putting them on here to. Oh, and dead things like squirrels and birds and stuff. Oh, this is going to be fun.

Love this picture here. Doesn't the Hab's player here kind of look like Bruce Willis?

A couple things I love about this picture despite it's grainy appearance. I love the ref, just watching, taking down numbers. When something like this happens that's all you can do. I alsoly love the two players in the foreground holding each other. They both clearly have no vested interest in this kerfuffle and just want to hang out and have a chat. Probably doing some birthday party planning for their kids, you know, she we get a bounce house for Timmy?

Did someone order the bloody hockey player? 

The Office Hugger.

I'm not sure if your office has one of these people. I'm assuming that everyone knows a person like this. The people that float, bounce or waddle into the office filled with the Holy Spirit. Well, or some sort of spirit anyway. We've got one, she's about 5'10" and a robust 280 lbs approximately. She walks in like an offensive lineman in a dress, exuding a zest for life at a decibel level that could be heard over a crowd at most indoor sporting events.

You see, we have a Sherlena. I know, you're jealous. When I first met Ms. Sherlena I was taken aback by her exuberance and general need to hug everyone. It makes me uncomfortable to be hugged anyway but to be mauled loved on by Sherlena is particularly awkward for me. Without getting into too much detail here, the first and only hug I received from Sherlena put my head well into her bosom and for a moment I thought I'd be suffocated.

Yes, to make matters worse, when she was introduced at a staff meeting the week before. Stories were told of days gone by when coworkers had gone bra shopping with Sherlena and the calamity that ensued. Suffice to say I know way too much about Sherlena at this stage of the game.

So, on a recent morning I was in the lobby of our building at the vending machine getting some peanut butter crackers. I noticed that one package of them was hanging on by a thread and thought it was my lucky day, I was going to get two packages for the price of one. I put my money in and was rewarded with two packages of tasty treats.

I love having these things for breakfast. 

I was cautiously optimistic this was to be my lucky day when I heard her. I didn't have to see her, I could hear her greeting everyone as she walked in the automatic doors. She greeted the janitor with a boisterous hello that could be heard a block away, then she was on to the security officer and the sterile processing guy whom she followed down the hall.

I waited to hear her round the corner before coming out from the vending machine nook. It's crazy that you can hear someone turn a corner. I walked slowly listening waiting for her to turn the other corner to wait for the elevators. I could hear her talking the ear off of the sterile processing guy. Lucky for him her elevator arrived. The door opened and I could hear her get in. Only the doors shutting could drown out her voice.

She was gone and I could finally come out from around the corner to hit the elevator button. I thought about it for a second or two on the ride up. Was it wrong to hide and avoid this person because she was so perky? Then I looked at my two snacks in my hand and thought again. I had just gotten two snacks for the price of one and it was a joyous day and I avoided an awkward elevator situation.

There's nothing wrong with Sherlena, she's a great lady and God bless her for spreading the Word and her love. I only wish she'd do it with her indoor voice.

TOM CRUISE IS BETTER THAN YOU!!! Just face it.

Look, Chuck Norris is a bad mofo, but face it, as bad ass as he is, Tom Cruise is just cooler than him. Sure, he may not be as tough but let's take a look at his body of work. Tell me Chuck, besides just being one tough and zen SOB, can your resume stack up?

We'll never forget Maverick. Dude, he was a Top Gun pilot. Chuck, when was the last time you flew in a Tomcat and lost a co-pilot, went a little crazy only to come back and shoot down some bogies and become a hero? 

For those NASCAR fans, you'll totally agree here. I know that Chuck has a huge NASCAR fan following but when was the last time Chuck drove a NASCAR? Yep, that's what I though. Way to go Dick, I mean Cole Trickle. 

Dude, he was a vampire before they were freaking cool. I still don't think vampires are cool but whatever. Take it deep Twilight. 

Oh yeah, he mounted the Burj Khalifa. I really don't think I need to tell you how ballsy that is. I mean  Chuck's balls are so big he has to have his assistant carry them around in a wheelbarrow but this as cool as this sounds, his sack must require it's own  flat bed truck. 

Now he's a freaking rock star. Wow, just wow, take that Chuck. Dropping microphone. 

Okay, so, keep in mind I'm not a huge Tom Cruise fan but he is so much cooler than all of us. Tom, just for the record, you suck dude. You really freaking suck. 

Dinner with a couple of Bozos.

After a long day that took me from Euless, to Addison, back home to Carrollton, down to Deep Ellum, back up to Addison then back to Carrollton, it was finally time for dinner. That's a lot of driving for sure. The wife was shooting people all day, for money, in the heat, so, she was tired, hungry and thirsty too. We needed to eat, and Ci Ci's Pizza was close in proximity to the last session, so that's where we went.

The place had clearly been swamped and they just wanted the day to be over and to do some cleaning. The last thing they wanted was the munchkin and my family in there. They reluctantly obliged us by taking our money however, and we sat down and ate. The munchkin was her usual ornery self and it was only to get better from there.

As we were eating, in come a couple of clowns. I'm not speaking metaphorically. I'm meaning for real. Two clowns walk in and pay up for some action on the pizza buffet. All the kids in the restaurant start bristling with energy. One particular little girl (not the munchkin) was star struck with awe. She was frozen with her drink in her hand, in the middle of the seating area, watching and following the clown's every moves. Several parents brought their kids over and interrupted their meal for pictures. That has to be annoying, I know it always bothered Andy Rooney.

Anyway, after we finished eating and they were almost done we got to talking to them and had some pictures taken. They of course were taken aback by the munchkin's outgoing personality. They instantly made friends.

So, nothing left to do but go to the pictures.

Our booth was right next to the clowns. 

Here they are, with the munchkin putting her paws up with the clowns. Clearly they were born this way. 

I was going to ask them for a business card to promote them but you know what they did? They gave us a freaking promo poster. So, for all of your clown needs DFW, check them out. Oh, and they speak Spanish. Oh, and Fosforito told me I owed him $20 for the poster. I asked him if took clown money and he complied so I made some imaginary clown money with my  mind and telepathically handed it to him. 

Oh, and when I went outside, I didn't see a clown car. That's when the wife reminded me that any car is a clown car if there's clowns inside it.

HAPPY FREAKING MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Well, it happened again, we celebrated another Mother's Day around here. Yep, it was a good one this year for the frugal family. As you may remember, we picked up a couple of iPhones wicked cheap. Happy mom's day wifey. Then on the actual day of celebration, we got fruit and donuts. Woo hoo!!!

Yep, it was a good one, hope everyone else had a good one.

Here's the about to be devoured arrangement. 

Look, chocolate covered apples and strawberries. 

Our phones. Not really, again, a stock image. 

This is what everything looked like before unpacked. 

Petting Random Dogs.

Even though I try to discourage it, the munchkin just has to pet every random dog we come across when we're out in public. She just has to run right up to said dog, freak dog out, and pet the thing. I've gotten her trained now to at least ask people before running up to them and she's getting to where her she runs more slowly now too. So, it's baby steps at this point.

I've started this blog post to show the munchkin in full dog petting glory. Yep, crappy mobile uploads of the munchkin petting strange dogs.

Here was a very docile chiuaua, looked a lot like the one below but this one was chill. 

This was dog number one of the day. It really didn't relate well to kids and liked me more than the girl. 

This cute little dachshund was a little skittish. I can't blame the dog, this girl scares me too some times. 

This li'l shih tzu was adorable and loved kids. The munchkin said. "If there were something softer than velvet, it would be this dog's fur." 

Out & About.

I may add other stuff to this later or, I may not. We'll see. Today though we experienced nature first hand.

Yes, it was amazing to see such beauty and yes, I think the flies are getting it on.

Careful, the U.S.D.A has been here. 

Here's their high tech bug catcher. 

These flies need to get a freaking room.